


This is not what you think it is (it's worse)

by redroseinsanity



Series: Hold your breath, count to ten [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, M/M, oh my god they were roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:03:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27135650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redroseinsanity/pseuds/redroseinsanity
Summary: The big city threatens to drown Suga, and Daichi is an anchor.But even anchors must drown to hold the boat.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Series: Hold your breath, count to ten [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1980692
Comments: 8
Kudos: 24
Collections: Haikyuu Horror Week





	This is not what you think it is (it's worse)

**Author's Note:**

> For Haikyuu Horror Week 2020!
> 
> This is my first time writing horror so I’m excited but also apologetic if this is not on par with your expectations. In that vein, I’m not sure if I’m tagging this as well as I should be, so if at any point you feel like you want to nope out, please do!
> 
> Title comes from Unperson by Nothing But Thieves

****Day 4:** **

****no sound /** ~~**~~razor-sharp claws~~ ** ~~ **/ a shadow you thought you saw move /** ** **~~**~~they’ll wear you down slowly / the laugh of a demon / curiosity killed the cat~~ ** ~~ **

In a big, bustling city, Koushi is undeniably, inescapably, a small town boy. 

Sure, it's exciting, brilliant lights that sparkle and wink back at him in the night, the rush of people all with their own fascinating lives, all with purpose and glamour, the hundreds of shops and cafes that pretty much sell variations of practically the same thing. 

It's wonderful and exhilarating and Koushi wants to let himself get swept up in the whirlwind and be flung upwards into the dizzying sky full of seemingly endless opportunities. 

But when he gets spit back out on land, he stumbles, unable to hold himself after trying to keep up with the constant buzz, exhausted after staying up with a city that never sleeps but unlike him, never tires. 

So there are days when he cleaves to the comforting smallness of the apartment, the quiet peace of early morning and the easy domesticity of cooking childhood favourites that his mother taught him before he left. 

And then there's Daichi. 

His sweet sturdy housemate who flits in and out of his life and always seems to be there when Koushi needs a shoulder to lean on. 

He's also from a small town and so, the two commiserate and bond and fumble through the intricacies of city living. It helps that Daichi has a smile that makes Koushi's worries melt away and a soothing voice that grounds him, no matter how lost he feels. 

Truth be told, he hadn't liked Daichi at first. He didn't know he would be sharing the apartment and so, had been quite startled when he'd first bumped into Daichi one late evening. 

He hadn't said much, just brushed past him with a murmur and disappeared into the room, leaving Koushi quite dumbfounded and rather irked. But the next evening, Daichi had smiled that gorgeous smile of his and initiated a conversation that left Koushi feeling more at ease than he had in a while. 

And that was that. Daichi was extremely neat, cleaned up after himself, didn't have rowdy guests over and was essentially the perfect housemate. 

Koushi had no clue what Daichi actually did, but he knew that when he got back to the apartment, chances were that Daichi would be there in the soft light, feeling like the home he'd left back in Miyagi. 

He knew Daichi probably had someone, because there were nights that he didn't come home and Koushi would wander around aimlessly, feeling quite pathetic for being so reliant on a housemate. 

But the house would be uncomfortably empty on those nights, and Koushi would try to fill the void with anything, baking or reading or watching some trash on tv and yet, the void remained. Those were the nights that Koushi would wake with a start thinking he'd heard Daichi come home, as if the sound of footsteps or the key in the lock or the rustle of cloth had edged into his dreams. 

But even if he strained, only the whirring of the fan would be heard, and if he peeked out, the shape he thought was Daichi in the dark would simply turn out to be a trick of light, moving shadows that glided over the walls and faded into the moonlight. 

It was hopeless, he was hopeless, because Koushi knew it was silly to pine over a housemate who probably had a partner already. 

But Daichi was there, in the deep nights when he felt too far from everything he knew and too afraid to keep pushing on. He was the calm voice in Koushi's ear, telling him stories of his own childhood and not to give up, that things would get better and that this was just the adjustment period. 

_"If anyone can do it, it's you, Suga," Daichi grinned and Koushi could see the flash of white in the dark._

_"Only if you keep cheering me on," Koushi teased, a cheeky expression lost in the endless night._

_"I'll always be rooting for you," Koushi couldn’t see Daichi's face, but he sounded wistful and pensive, "Even if a day comes that we aren't in this house together, I'll still be rooting for you."_

Daichi started out as a spot of comfort, a touchstone of familiarity, and quickly became the highlight of Koushi's day when Daichi came home late at night after doing god knows what all day. When Koushi woke from a nightmare and when he couldn't sleep, Daichi would usually be awake, a reassuring smile on his face and gentleness in his eyes. 

One day, Daichi doesn't come home and at first, Koushi doesn't panic. It's not his business what Daichi does with his nights but the single evening stretches into a week and that's when Koushi does panic. 

There's no number to call, they've always met at home and Daichi's never offered, Koushi's never pried. _In hindsight_ , he thinks frenziedly, _the boundaries were clearly drawn between us and I'm a fool for loving him._

~~_~~Even so, I'd love him anyway.~~ _~~

In a moment of desperation, he barges into Daichi's room and is shocked to find nearly nothing. It's as though Daichi moved out without telling him. 

And that's when he sits down, heart almost too heavy for him to stand, confusion and concern and pure upset curdling in his stomach. 

So he calls his landlady, asks about Daichi and if he mentioned moving out. 

There's a long pause on the end of the line before his landlady speaks, slowly and carefully. 

"There isn't someone leasing the apartment with you at the moment," She tells him and Koushi thinks it's a joke. 

He gives Daichi's name and describes his tanned face and sunny smile, his built stature and broad shoulders. 

His landlady goes quiet again. Then she gets angry. 

"What kind of sick prank do you think you're playing?" She asks, voice tight with rage, "How insensitive can you be? Is this your idea of fun? Let that poor boy rest in peace!" She hangs up and Koushi stays frozen in the middle of the kitchen, phone pressed to his ear and dial tone shrilly beeping. 

He blinks rapidly, unsure if he misunderstood. Then he pulls up a search page on the internet, and when nothing shows up, he puts on his stalking hat and tries social media. 

There, he sees it. The myriad of messages that delineate an outpouring of grief that he's too stunned to feel, the repetition of phrases such as "We'll miss you" and "Thanks for everything, can't believe you're gone" not seeming real. 

He checks the dates, it's been less than a year. 

_It's not possible_ , he thinks distantly, already crumpled on the floor, mind refusing to comprehend and the slow sensation of being swept away in the tide rising slowly. 

It's probably then that he goes slightly insane, going into every room calling Daichi's name, walking around the neighborhood, trying to see if he can spot Daichi on the way home. 

But he ends up at home, in the late evening with a house that is suddenly colder and emptier than ever. 

He ends up sobbing, the belated truth crashing into him with the weight of half a year's emotions, gasping out Daichi's name in between as though the ragged sound will call him back. 

All he gets in return is silence. After six months of laughing and pouring their hearts out, just nothing. 

Koushi is left in a tiny apartment that feels like the bottom of the ocean, alone and with all sounds muffled. He chokes on the thought of, _Him being together with someone else would have been far kinder than this._

The silence in the apartment is deafening and it stays that way, no matter how much Koushi begs and bargains and cries. 

There's no more sound or sign from Daichi and Koushi thinks about him every day, leaves notes out for him that get blown to the floor by the wind and flowers on his grave. 

Nothing.

The apartment is barren and quiet and life goes on, so does Koushi.

But sometimes he wakes in the middle of the night thinking he heard someone and he always rushes out, peering into the gloom only to find shifting shadows. 

"Daichi?" He always calls, soft and hopeful and heartbroken. 

There's never a response. 

**Author's Note:**

> I should also be posting concurrently on [tumblr](https://redroseinsanity.tumblr.com/) as well. Come say hi!


End file.
